Rude Bastards Tour of Cologne!

Duration: 2h
Languages: English
Registered on January 03, 2022
  • Free booking and cancellation
    Free payment tour, no set price, booking and cancellation are free

Tour description

This tour of Cologne is much different than the usual politically correct BS. It will be full of bad language, bad taste jokes and, yes, of course, a history lesson! Your tour guide shares insight into the history of Cologne and gives you great tips on the best places to visit, eat, and drink. Expect to learn a lot about the city while you hear fun stories and have a great time. No snowflakes allowed!!! 

On this tour, besides learning in a fun way, we will answer many questions that have hilarious answers. Psss... Boring people should stay away! With this being said... are you ready for it? 

Please book for free to guarantee a spot. Tours require minimum 2 guests to operate. Guides will only wait 10 minutes max past the starting time

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What will we visit on this tour?

  • Meeting point:
    Köln Hauptbahnhof, Trankgasse 11, 506...
    Köln Hauptbahnhof, Trankgasse 11, 50667 Köln, Germany
    View on map

    In front of Starbucks at the main train station (Köln HBF) It is the only Starbucks there by the cathedral and we always wait for you outside with a small yellow flag

  • 1
    Outside visit

    This is our meeting point, right by the great cathedral. We will wait for you outside Starbucks at the train station to start our walking tour.

  • 2
    Outside visit
    Cologne cathedral

    Are you also going to say that our Dom looks dirty and needs some cleaning? Let us tell you the reason why!

  • 3
    Outside visit
    FRÜH am Dom

    Yes we will talk a lot about beer in Germany! (and most important: we will warn you about going to a beer hall in Cologne on your own)

  • 4
    Outside visit
    House of Studies of the Romano-Germanic Museum

    Ger ready for some Game of Thrones stories from the Roman times. Those people were wild.

  • 5
    Outside visit
    Alter Markt

    Most people like this place due to the City Hall... we like it due to its funny statues and the meaning behind them!

  • 6
    Outside visit
    Fish market

    Why do those statues of women in the middle of the square have that disgusted look on their faces? Maybe their husbands smell like stinky old fish and need a shower before going to bed?

  • 7
    Outside visit
    Hohenzollern Bridge

    Love? Nah, thanks. It's too heavy.

How much does this tour cost?

Free tours do not have a set price, instead, each person gives the guru at the end of the tour the amount that he or she considers appropriate (these usually range from €10 to $50 depending on satisfaction with the tour).

Tour opinions

49 ratings
By category
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1 star
Carl 16 May 2024

Verified booking
Travelled in couple - May 2024
We had a great time with Ellen, only a small group so we had the personal touch, would recommend.
Benedetta 05 May 2024

Verified booking
Travelled in group - Feb 2024
Our guide was American, extremely knowledgeable, passionate of history and FUN! The tour was GREAT!!!!!!! Thanks so much
Solomiia 29 Apr 2024

Verified booking
Travelled in couple - Apr 2024
Nice tour guide! Recommend!
Gerwin 16 Mar 2024

Verified booking
Travelled in group - Mar 2024
Emily was lovely and talked us through the history of the city and showed remarkable statues and other stuff which makes you laugh.
Linda 20 Jan 2024

Verified booking
Travelled in couple - Jan 2024
Ella is amazing! You can tell that she really loves what she does, and she makes the tour really funny and interesting through her passion! Thank you for everything :)
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Who is this tour for?

Suitable for people with reduced mobility.
Does not accept large group reservations.
Suitable for carrying pets.

What should you know?

Minimum of attendees
A minimum of 5 people is required for the tour.
Additional costs:
The tour does not require the payment of entrance fees or additional expenses.
Free cancellation
If you will not be able to attend the tour, please cancel your booking, otherwise the guide will be waiting for you.
When do you want to go?
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